The only way to stop the bloodthirsty Weekend Monster from finding you and ending you in a grisly fashion is to party. Go downtown and put copious amounts of booze in your system. Then spend the rest of the night tossing tiny death arrows at the walls of your favorite pub. Tip your bartenders and wait staff. The Weekend Monster won’t abide anythingless than 20%.
Find a gaggle of tall women then proceed to hug each one with great bear arms and meaning. They will appreciate your zeal. You will appreciate their bosoms for pillows.
If all else fails: dance. The Weekend Monster can’t help but to get on the dance floor with you. It is a complete attention whore.
If you survive the weekend it is only because you followed these simple rules. No, no. I don’t want to hear it. I’m a genius.
Now go.
