First day in the ER?practically, I?m not able to do much ? hook people up to the 3-lead EKG, pulse-ox, BP, and take their temperature. Unless someone needs CPR, O2, or direct pressure to stop bleeding ? I pretty much change linens and take patients to X-ray and CT scan. That?s about the extent of what I can do.
But what I saw?thus far, in 32 hours of being in real world EMS situations, I?ve seen one trauma victim: a 7 year old kid who cut his knee right down the center. The wound was so deep, you could see the patella. I watched the doc sew it up after injecting it with lidocaine.
Other than that, there were plenty of patients, but none of them were of the TV drama emergency type. A COPD patient who couldn?t breathe well, an MVA victim with chest pain from the airbag deploying, a little girl who cut her eye after falling off a ball she was standing on, a dialysis patient with abdominal pain, a woman with trouble breathing (and a 55/33 BP too!), a younger guy with chest pain, and all other manner of problems, none of which really got the ER jumping the way you see on TV.
I suppose I should be happy for the relatively minor things I?ve seen ? when I?m present, nobody dies. Nobody is seriously hurt. Nobody is critically ill. That must happen before and after I?m there. As someone getting into the health care profession, I guess it?s somewhat twisted that I?d want to see the bad stuff.
But to me, the bad stuff I see is the stuff that will teach me to treat it later. If I see nothing but simple cases now, what am I going to know, aside from some paragraphs in a book, when I see an amputation victim for real? What am I going to know when I see a full cardiac arrest in the field? I don?t want to see this stuff because I want to see suffering ? I want to see this stuff so I know how to stop it.
I?ve been thinking about my motives for wanting to be a paramedic?in some ways, I?m not a very caring person. I can?t stand weakness and laziness and mediocrity and small-mindedness. If someone is afflicted with any of those ? I have no sympathy or respect for their ill-formed opinions and actions. But take those same people and break their bodies, and I want to help. What?s with that?
I suppose I see myself ? as a paramedic ? as nothing different than I have ever been ? an engineer. The only difference is that now, I want to work on a system far more complex than anything mankind has ever designed. I?m aware of the human element animating the physical body?but I see myself more as a mechanic, there to help the system. I understand the needs of the personality, but my role is so short-lived in their care, the emotional support I offer will only be momentary in the grand scheme. I will do what I can for someone?s soul?but their body is my main concern. I think, perhaps, that?s my attempt to start building up a defense mechanism for the times things fall apart. For the times it all goes the way you don?t want it to. I was there for the body ? nothing else.
Problem is, that?s not true and I know it.
-MedicMike
