I have walked this Earth for 30 plus one years. In that time, my shoes have been untied for little more than half that. Yet I fail to recall any incident where I?ve fallen with such force to break anything usable.
I don?t even remember tripping violently.
When I was in 7th grade I was walking in line with my fellow meat puppets to the grinder. A nice teacher noticed my shoe was untied and kindly made that fact known to me. I nonverbally thanked her for her concern and went about my business to the lunchroom, making a mental note to fix the problem once I had stopped.
That once nice teacher grew pointy ears and horns in a finger snap and forced me to get out of line and tie my shoes. If I was then the person I am now, I would have shown a lot more attitude and told her to, ?kindly fuck off. These are my shoes. I?ll risk the trip.? (I have always had problems with authority. I suppose she had problems with kids not heeding her ?advice?.)
Nowadays my friends and errant co-workers have taken that teacher?s place. To their credit they have not turned into demons because of it.
But after 30 years of being trip free, my powers are failing me. The caution takers have sapped my mojo.
I can no longer walk with shoes untied.
That sucks.
