Groonkly Bits

THE QUICK
Never has so much movie been given to so many people for so very, very little story. I know Michael Bay has the emotional depth of a monster truck rally staged on an aircraft carrier while Raptors fly about firing missiles at Bigfoot and Gravedigger as they jump through metallic hoops of napalmed awesome. But did I have to pay 10 bucks for TRANSFORMERS 2 to confirm that he’s an asshole of the highest order?

In a mad attempt to prove he’s a more successful Uwe Boll, and by “successful” I mean ” people willingly put money on his movies every fucking time,” Michael Bay gave us TRANSFORMERS 2: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN. Two weeks and $200 million later, I’m pretty damn sure Bay will be given the keys to the outhouse and manage to crap out TRANSFORMERS 3.

*Sigh*

I can’t worry about that now. Today the focus is on ROTF.

What some would call spoilers but I call fair warning not to waste 10+ bucks follows:
…

9 Comments | In: Movies | tags: Michael fucking Bay, movie review, summer movies, The Monaco, transformers. | #

“Da. When you cook, salt makes things more what they are. Meat is more meat. Fish is more fish. You taste more the thing. Brings more flavor. No salt, no flavor. Movie needed salt.” –via JMS via a very wise, very Russian, taxi cab driver

This is the only true way to review a movie now.

No Comments | In: Quotes | tags: jms, movie review, russians know their business, star wars prequels. | #

Here’s how it worked for me. The last minute decision to see SPEED RACER in spite of those who judge a movie’s success wholly on it’s opening weekend box office came upon me swiftly. I decided it was a flick worth seeing in the theatre and I was not wrong.

If you’ve seen anime and know all the trappings involved with them and/or if you are a Speed Racer fanatic you’ll get a major kick from this film. Also, as it was quoted to me:

“The ads are very accurate; cut and filmed exactly like them, so if they turned you off, you just aren’t ready for it.”

I went in unsure about what the Wachowskis were gonna give me. Their love of anime is honestly the only thing that allowed me to fit the movie in my budget. I’m glad I did. I thought it was pretty fucking fun. It really was *Speed Racer* with only minor tweaks to make it movie-worthy.

Please note for future reference:

The Anime Laws of Physics
* Those who have not viewed much anime in the past, or read much manga, may be a tad confused by the very liberal approach to physics that Japanese artists tend to take.

* It should be noted that the laws of physics for anime are quite different than American cartoons, due to different cultural symbolism and sense of humor.

* The copyright owners have granted permission.

* It’s funny as hell.

I don’t think the mainstream American audience was ready for the mix of: over-the-top humor, angsty angst, violent death, corporate-finance conspiracy, and solid family drama. For whatever reason, most folks don’t like their movies to be that broad.

In the end, whether you like or dislike this movie will fall completely on personal taste (and the quote mentioned above).

*I* thought it was brilliant.

And I’m crossing my fingers that the DVD/blu ray release will give SPEED RACER the popularity it deserves.

Next up: PRINCE CASPIAN

No Comments | In: Movies | tags: anime, movie review, Speed Racer, The Monaco. | #